Did I say that?
So I’m checking out the ESPN.com corrections page…mostly because, well, I didn’t realize they had a corrections page. Currently, its link is sandwiched towards the bottom of the front page in 10 point type between a Le Anne Schreiber blog link (Yeah, I don’t know who she is either. I also don’t know who decided women should be talking about sports anyway. Wasn’t the right to vote and wear pants suits enough? I kid, I kid. But Seriously.) and sponsored links currently directing me to both a low interest credit card and a poker website to max it out on.This experience left me thinking about two key things. First off, I am absolutely enamored with the idea. Correcting everything in life should be this easy. Have one of those “not so sober” nights? No problem…the next day, you could simply say, “Last night, I drank too much. I did not intend to say what I said, do what I did, or leave with who I left with. Also, that cash I dropped, we’re going to have to take that back.” and then have all of your problems just disappear. Man, that’d be dope.
But I digress…the thing that really got me was four spots down on the correction page. I’ll go ahead and copy the correction listed here for you to enjoy/pity as appropriate. For legal purposes, I am referencing this from the following:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/corrections
Joe Morgan’s major league debutJuly 19, 2007 12:54 PM
During the eighth inning of ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball game between the Cardinals and Phillies on July 15, commentator Joe Morgan said he was called up by Houston in 1964, had his first hit in his first major-league at-bat against Philadelphia and that it caused the Phillies to lose one of their 10 straight down the stretch, helping ruin their chances for the pennant. In fact, Morgan was called up in 1963. His first hit was a walk-off against Philadelphia, but it was his second big league at-bat.
Editor’s note: In an earlier version of this correction, it was incorrectly reported that the game in which the on-air mistake occurred was the Braves-Phillies contest.
Now, I know Joe’s old…I know this…but didn’t you really think Jon Miller would be the one to go senile first? Granted, Ole Joe is not quite “pushing a shopping cart naked up Dan Patrick’s Driveway” crazy yet, but this is disturbing. It’s not like he thought he got a hit to left and he actually got a hit to right…my dude got the game, year, and situation wrong for his first major league at bat. First one. Ever. You only get one of those. I recently saw Tim Robbins commentating on the Intelligence Officers who all kept their jobs after falsely reporting data about WMD’s in Iraq and Saddam’s links to Bin Laden. He said, “Shouldn’t there be a rule where if you fuck something up that badly, you don’t get to be considered an expert anymore?” And they even had to correct the correction. Couldn’t make that up.
What makes it even funnier is…it’s fucking Joe Morgan. There is no commentator ever who loves to talk about his playing days more than Joe Morgan. I swear the man can somehow find a way to make Paul Lo Duca’s shoelaces relate to a play Pete Rose made in 1976. I wonder if his memory has always sucked, and he really is just the greatest bullshitter ever. Somebody should get the dude from Around the Horn fact checking his shit full time.
This was posted a few weeks ago, and I can tell you Joe hasn’t stopped with the flashbacks. I guess you can lead a horse to water…but you can’t make him realize he’s an old, repetitive idiot who shouldn’t have to be heard by people. My favorite Sunday Night Baseball drinking game involves taking a shot every time he reminisces. Try it out…you’ll be trashed by the third inning. And the next day…perfect opportunity to set up your own correction page. Gotta love how that comes full circle. You’d think I was actually planning this shit out or something.
You kids have fun.
Adam Darowski said,
August 26, 2007 at 11:07 am
First time I’ve seen the phrase: “In an earlier version of this correction”
Tony Yayo said,
August 28, 2007 at 3:39 pm
see, they should take guys like joe morgan, john madden, and peter gammons, and give them their own show. that way, they could feel like they were still contributing, but we wouldnt have to watch them.